It often starts with something small. A pile of unopened mail on Dad's kitchen bench. A phone call from Mum asking why the electricity bill is so high, when it turns out she's paid it twice. Or a hospital stay that suddenly leaves you as the one fielding calls from the bank, the aged care provider and Centrelink.
If you're in your 40s or 50s, there's a good chance you're already juggling a mortgage, your own career and perhaps kids who haven't quite left home. Now you're being asked to run a second household's finances as well, often with little warning and no instruction manual. It can feel overwhelming. The good news is that the job gets much easier once you know which pieces of paper matter, who needs to see them, and a few simple habits that protect both your parent and you.
Start with the right legal authority
Being a loving son or daughter doesn't give you any legal right to deal with your parent's money. Banks, super funds and government agencies will only talk to you if your parent has given you formal authority.
The key document is an enduring power of attorney. It lets your parent appoint someone they trust to make financial decisions for them, and, crucially, it keeps working if they later lose the capacity to make decisions themselves. An ordinary (general) power of attorney stops working at exactly the point you're most likely to need it.
The rules and forms are set by each state and territory, so the document must be made while your parent still has capacity and in the form their state requires. If that moment has already passed and there's no enduring power of attorney in place, the family usually has to apply to the state guardianship tribunal to have an administrator appointed. That process is slower, more public and more expensive than signing a document at the kitchen table while everyone is well. If your parents haven't done this yet, it's the single most useful conversation you can have with them this year.
The power of attorney doesn't open every door
Here's what surprises many families: some of the most important organisations in an older person's life run their own separate systems.
- Centrelink. If your parent gets the age pension, you'll generally need to be set up as their Centrelink nominee. Services Australia has two types. A correspondence nominee can deal with Centrelink for them: claim payments, report income, update details and receive their letters. A payment nominee receives their Centrelink payments and must use that money only for your parent's benefit. Your parent can add you through their Centrelink online account in myGov, and you have 14 days to accept the request in your own account. Otherwise it can be done on paper using the SS313 form.
- Aged care. Since the new Aged Care Act started on 1 November 2025, the old "representative" roles in My Aged Care have become registered supporters. A registered supporter can help your parent understand their options, request information, attend assessments and pass on their wishes to providers. But a supporter cannot make decisions for them. That still depends on legal arrangements such as a power of attorney or guardianship.
- The ATO, banks and super funds. Each has its own process for recognising someone acting on another person's behalf. Expect to provide a certified copy of the power of attorney, and to go through identity checks for yourself as well.
It's worth doing all of this before a crisis. Trying to set up a Centrelink nominee from a hospital corridor is nobody's idea of fun.
Build a simple system and keep records
Once you have authority, the job is part bookkeeping, part detective work. A sensible first step is a one-page map of your parent's financial life: bank accounts, super or pension accounts, Centrelink payments, regular bills, insurance policies, any investments or property, and where the will and other documents are kept.
Then set up a few ground rules for yourself:
- Keep their money separate from yours. Never pay your parent's pension into your own account, or pay your own bills from theirs, even if you intend to square it up later.
- Keep receipts and a simple log of what you pay and why. A spreadsheet or even an exercise book is fine. If a sibling ever asks questions, or a tribunal does, you'll be glad you did.
- Put regular bills on direct debit from your parent's account, so things don't fall through the cracks during a busy month.
- Keep Centrelink informed. Changes to your parent's income or assets, such as selling shares or moving into care, generally need to be reported, and the age pension can be affected.
Remember that attorneys act for the person, not for the family. The law expects you to make decisions in your parent's interests and, as far as possible, in line with what they would want. It's their money, even if it will one day be part of an estate.
What to watch for
Older Australians are a favourite target for scammers, and sadly financial abuse often comes from someone they know. Warning signs include unexplained withdrawals, new "friends" taking an interest in their finances, sudden changes to a will, and pressure to sign documents they don't understand. If you're worried, the national elder abuse phone line, 1800 ELDERHelp (1800 353 374), connects you with free advice services in your state or territory. In an emergency, call 000.
Watch out for family tension too. If one sibling is doing the day-to-day work, tell the others what's happening. Regular, open updates and good records stop small misunderstandings from turning into lasting rifts.
If you're already behind
Perhaps the crisis has already happened, and there's no power of attorney, no list of accounts, and Mum can no longer tell you where things are. Don't panic. Start with what you can see: recent bank statements, the mail, the tax return, the Centrelink letters. Contact the guardianship tribunal in your state for guidance on applying for an administrator. And if your parent can still make decisions with support, ask a solicitor whether they're able to make an enduring power of attorney now. Capacity isn't all-or-nothing, and a lawyer can assess it.
Finally, use this as a nudge for your own planning. One of the kindest things you can do for your own children is to have your will, enduring power of attorney and super nominations sorted long before they're needed.
For a clear, practical guide to powers of attorney, wills, super nominations and helping family through the tough times, see Wills, Death & Taxes Made Simple by Noel Whittaker. Buy direct from the author for $22.95, in PDF and EPUB formats.
This article is general information only and doesn't take account of your personal circumstances. Figures are current at time of writing and change each financial year. Consider seeking advice before acting.